The Golden Bachelor - Will This Challenge Our Ageist Views of Life and Love?
The other day, while waiting outside for my girlfriend to arrive for our usual Tuesday coffee chat, a middle-aged man walked straight into me, seemingly oblivious that he had done anything wrong.
I stupidly said, "Sorry, excuse me!" He looked me in the eyes and uttered the dreaded words a woman over 50 never needs to hear: He said, "No problem; I didn't see you there!".
Not feeling visible is a unique experience that may afflict anyone at any age. It's a universal theme of just wanting to be seen and heard.
However, the plight of invisibility and feelings of rejection may be more challenging among older women. This is why when I heard the news that there would be a new rendition of ABC's popular TV show "The Bachelor"—"The Golden Bachelor," featuring older adults finding love—I reacted with a resounding "Yes! Hallelujah"!
Briefly, for anybody who hasn't watched a TV season of "The Bachelor" or its counterpart, "The Bachelorette," it's a reality show that revolves around a single person ranging in age from early 20s to 30 who dates a gaggle of eligible contestants, and there are many of them.
But within weeks, the options will dwindle as the Bachelor will get to gradually eliminate contestants, giving out a rose at what has become known as the lavish and dramatic "Rose "ceremony to only those lucky few he wishes to continue dating.
The goal is that by the show's end, it will unify two people in holy matrimony if they can first survive the engagement!
So, who will be the first ever new golden bachelor?
He is none other than Gerry Turner, a 72-year-old widower, a father of two, and a grandfather. The retired restaurateur was married for 43 years before his wife tragically died. In a Good Morning America interview, the newest senior bachelor said that when asked what his late wife would think about being named the "Golden Bachelor," Turner said he thinks she would be happy.
"Oh, hell to the NO!" There is no way I would be as understanding as his dearly departed wife in the afterlife, especially with nothing to do but listen to the constant melodic tones of harps. Watching from above my longtime husband prance around like a hipster-smitten kitten in his new life would for sure require my transition into a highly enlightened and restrained spiritual soul.
But the fact is that life does go on, and so does the spawning of spin-offs of the Bachelor franchise.
There is a silver lining here, as our "Golden Bachelor" and silver fox Gerry have the opportunity to break ageism barriers by showcasing that companionship, and personal growth aren't limited by age and that most importantly it’s never too late to find love.
There is potential for this TV show to portray Gerry's prowess (dating over 20 women simultaneously) and his joys and blunders in a genuine and relatable manner, challenging stereotypes that suggest seniors should no longer pursue romantic relationships and, worse yet, be even visible on prime time!
According to a Globe and Mail article, "The senior's guide to finding love—or at the very least, companionship," by Dene Moore and published in 2021;
"The proliferation of social media groups and online dating sites specifically for seniors underscores just how many baby boomers are looking for love. The number of people living alone in Canada has more than doubled over the last 35 years, from 1.7 million in 1981 to four million in 2016, according to Statistics Canada data – more than a quarter of them were age 65 and older. The report also shows the share of seniors living alone that were separated or divorced more than tripled, from nine per cent to 32 per cent over the 35-year period. Most senior women who lived alone were widows, while most senior men were separate or divorced, the report shows. It also shows men were "significantly" more likely than women to want to partner up." .
Also Read: Marriage - Been There, Done That, Don't Want to Do It Again
It will be interesting to see if this wiser and more seasoned bachelor can rise above and bypass the usual emotional drama among the contestants.
Equally, I'd like to know how this mature group of women will handle this experience. Will they display the same level of cattiness and competitive nature as their younger counterparts on the original show, "The Bachelor"?
Also, in the original "The Bachelor," the lucky women who are selected to go on one-on-one dates with the Bachelor often have to prove their fearlessness and partake in dare-devil duo activities such as zip lining their way through a tropical rain forest or scaling up the wall of the tallest office tower, where once on the top, a bottle of champagne and a romantic table for two await.
Will there be expectations of this senior group of women to win Gerry's beating heart by attempting similar life-threatening activities as the younger women in the original series?
It would be a nice change to witness Gerry be able to raise the blood pressure of his adoring and eager contestants by offering instead deep, meaningful conversations and simply respecting, noticing, and acknowledging them.
But in saying this, am I perpetuating the same ageism and societal views that older people are physically frail and limited to having only sentimental dialogue and offering shuffleboard?
Shame on me!
Aside from entertaining us, I hope "The Golden Bachelor" breaks down generalizations or assumptions based solely on age.
I am ultimately rooting for Gerry; he could be an inspiring example of not only physical agility but wit, charm, and sincerity, and offer those that give this often rooted in public ridicule reality show a chance to shine a different perspective on issues relevant to today's seniors, fostering a new appreciation and empathy that is much deserved and long overdue.
Now that certainly would be golden!
Interested in reading other articles written by Wendy?;
Here's a video about Gary and his expectations of being the upcoming "Golden Bachelor"
About the Author:
Wendy Reichental, B.A.,Dip. in Human Relations and Family Life Education, McGill University. Certified in Foot Reflexology, RCRT® Registered Canadian Reflexology Therapist.
Wendy enjoys capturing life’s passages in short essays and opinion pieces. Her writings have appeared in The Montreal Gazette, Ottawa’s Globe and Mail, and various online magazines. Wendy's unique take on those first days of the Pandemic lockdown is now part of the just-out anthology Chronicling the Days by Marianne Ackerman (Editor) and Linda M. Morra (Editor). Guernica Editions, Spring 2021
