Musing of the Day: The Need to Be Right

After experiencing a major flood in our basement, we lost the majority of our personal items. But what did survive was a journal I wrote back in 2009. It contained random musings on trying to live a happier and healthier life. I figured if this one book made it to the surface of my despair maybe it was now my obligation to breathe some life into it and share. Here is one of these entries.

How often do you become defensive when someone tries to blame you for something? How quick do you respond, possibly adding more fuel to an already "hot" situation? Why do we need or want to be right so badly?

As I found myself going through my e-mails, I read one that implied I hadn't done something so this is why something was delayed. My first reaction was to quickly respond and let them know they were wrong. I was going to send the e-mail that clearly outlined that this person was mistaken and I had the proof to show them.

I started to think about my response. My initial intent was to write back a curt response from my very righteous position.

I was right - they were wrong.

But what would this accomplish?

Would making someone else feel bad really help improve this situation? In the big scheme of things, how important was it for me to be right?

I didn't end up sending the e-mail I had originally envisioned. Instead, I sent one that started by stating that we must have a misunderstanding and opened the door for how we could work together to get it sorted out and back on track.

As I did this, I realized that sometimes just moving on is much better. Because of the way I responded, I didn't cause any further debate or discussion on something that would only make likely both of us feel the need to defend our positions in order to be right.

And in the end, we got everything sorted out without any bad feelings.

I think if rather than feeling the need to be right, we let that thought go and looked for ways to reach a harmonious solution we would all be happier. 

We could then save our energy for the things that are really important.