Ask a Retirement Coach: How Do I Find Purpose and Vitality at 60 When It Feels Like My Best Years Are Behind Me?

Dear Retirement Coach,

I just turned 60, and I keep hearing people say that ‘60 is the new 40.’ But honestly, I don’t feel that way. My body is just not functioning the same way that it did when I was 40 which makes me think that my best years are behind me. How can I shift my mindset and make the most of this stage of life?

Sincerely,

Looking Forward to What's Next

Dear Looking Forward to What’s Next,

Thank you for your thoughtful and honest question—and happy 60th!

While the phrase “60 is the new 40” is meant to be empowering, it can sometimes feel more like pressure than encouragement, especially when your body is telling you a different story. You're not alone in this. Many people reaching this milestone feel caught between society's youthful slogans and the real physical changes that come with aging.

Let me reassure you—feeling like your best years are behind you is a common fear, but it's far from the truth.

In fact, many people discover that their 60s and beyond are some of the most meaningful, purpose-filled years of their lives. The key is to shift the narrative, not to deny the changes, but to reframe them in a way that opens up new possibilities.

Acknowledge, Don’t Minimize

First things first: it’s okay to admit that your body isn’t what it used to be. Ignoring or sugarcoating that reality doesn’t help. Aging does bring changes—some that feel unwelcome. But instead of viewing these changes as limitations, consider them signals. They’re prompting you to check in with yourself, adjust your pace, and prioritize your health in a way you may never have had time for in your 40s.

Think of it this way: your body may be slowing down, but your wisdom, life experience, and emotional intelligence are operating at full speed. That’s not a step backward—it’s a shift in strength.

Reimagine What “Best Years” Mean

There’s a common cultural bias that equates youth with "the best years"—when we’re climbing the career ladder, raising families, or achieving big life milestones. But that narrow view misses something important: later life offers a different kind of richness. One not defined by hustle, but by intention.

Ask yourself: What would “the best years” look like now, on your terms?

Maybe it’s having more time to focus on meaningful relationships. Or waking up without a to-do list dictated by someone else’s demands. Or finally having the space to pursue a long-held interest—photography, writing, mentoring, travel, community work.

The beauty of this stage is that you get to design it. And design it you should —because drifting through retirement without purpose or structure can lead to dissatisfaction. That’s something I see often in my work as a retirement lifestyle coach. The clients who thrive are the ones who become intentional about how they want to live—not just what they want to do.

Redefine Health as Empowerment

You mentioned not feeling physically the way you did at 40. That’s fair. But what if we move the goalposts? Instead of aiming to be 40 again, aim to be the healthiest, most energized 60-year-old version of yourself.

Health at this stage is not about competing with your younger self. It’s about preserving mobility, supporting your mental and emotional wellbeing, and fueling your days with energy—not for performance, but for presence.

You don’t have to make massive lifestyle overhauls. Start small: daily walks, stretching, balanced meals, better sleep. These simple shifts can offer surprisingly powerful benefits. And if something is bothering you physically, don’t ignore it—be proactive. Investing in your health now is not just about longevity—it’s about quality of life.

Give Yourself Permission to Evolve

At 60, you’ve likely played many roles in life—parent, partner, professional, caregiver, colleague. Retirement and aging offer the rare gift of reinvention. You don’t have to be who you were. You get to be who you want to become next.

One powerful mindset shift is to see this period not as a winding down, but as an evolution.

What aspects of yourself have gone unexplored? What lights you up? Where can you still grow? It’s never too late to start something new or deepen something meaningful.

Whether it’s learning a language, joining a cause, building a new circle of friends, or starting an encore career— this can be your most expansive chapter yet.

You’re Not Starting Over. You’re Starting From Experience.

Here’s a gentle reminder: You bring decades of lived experience into this next chapter. Every success, mistake, challenge, and joy has shaped you—and now you have the opportunity to live with more clarity than ever before.

When clients ask me how to “make the most of this stage,” I often encourage them to ask a few simple questions:

• What do I want more of in my life right now?

• What do I want less of?

• What have I been postponing or overlooking that I’m now ready to explore?

Let those answers guide you. Use them to create a personal vision for the coming years—not a rigid plan, but a flexible, values-based guidepost.

Looking Forward to What’s Next—your very name holds a sense of optimism. And that’s where it all begins: with your perspective. You don’t need to feel 40 to live fully at 60.

Your best years may not look the same, but they can feel even better—more aligned with who you are, and what matters to you most.

This chapter isn’t about defying age. It’s about embracing life —as it is now—and stepping into it with courage, curiosity, and a sense of purpose. You’ve earned the right to live well on your own terms. And I, for one, believe your next chapter has the potential to be one of your most fulfilling yet.

Warm regards,

Toni Petrillo

Certified Retirement Coach Founder, Retire With Intention

Do you have any questions that you would like to ask Retirement Coach Toni? Just send them in an e-mail to [email protected].

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