My Mortality Wake Up Call
Earlier this year I decided to get my annual physical. I was delinquent on this and hadn’t done it since the start of the pandemic.
I like my doctor. He is the same doctor who looked after my father when he was battling pancreatic cancer so we have a long history together and I enjoy talking to him about things.
But this visit felt different.
I think I have now hit the age when the medical profession considers someone at my age to be officially old. This surprised me and forced me to start thinking about my future and what may happen to me.
Because of my age my doctor recommended that I take a number of tests including an abdominal ultrasound, bone density test and the ever dreaded colonoscopy.
In addition, he recommended that I take two flu vaccinations as well as get the shingles vaccine. Hearing all of these instructions overwhelmed me and I left my doctor’s office feeling both old and a little scared.
It’s the not knowing part that drives me a little crazy.
There is a history of cancer in my family. My father passed away from pancreatic cancer at age 72 and I’m not far away from that number. I know I shouldn’t let that bother me but it does.
It’s not that I’m not afraid of getting old. But I am afraid of getting cancer like my father did.
Not following through with the recommended tests would eliminate a lot of stress for me. But I also realize that this would be a dumb move as early detection of cancer is curable if it’s caught in the early stages.
So I went and had all the tests done.
Soon after, I caught a cold/virus which lasted six weeks. I was unable to work out which caused me to get a little cranky.
I did manage to physically get better just in time for our three week Italy vacation. But mentally, I was still suffering from the post doctor visit blues.
I found myself going a little crazy during the first two weeks of the trip and ate and drank everything in sight. As a result of my binge, I managed to gain five pounds in the process which only made me feel worse.
Eventually, by the third week I was able to get my emotions under control and started to feel better about things and got myself back on a moderation track.
I think it’s healthy to have a good blow out and enjoy things that you normally wouldn’t once in a while. Sure, living like this for a short period of time does come at a cost but in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter much and it can sure help out mentally.
Back in the saddle
I’m happy to share that this past weekend I did a 105K charity ride in preparation for the two day ride to conquer cancer on June 10th.
I hadn’t been on my bike for two months because of my illness and vacation and although it was hard to get back, I managed to get it done.
But I’m also realizing that riding could be so much easier and more fun if I could drop some serious weight. That will be my main focus for the rest of the year.
In the meantime, I am coming to grips with my mortality and the possibility that I may have future health challenges. I’m also realizing that much of this may be out of my control.
