Managing Anticipation Over the Holidays
"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas." is likely a tune that is floating around in many people's minds right now.
Still, the melody stuck in my head is Carly Simon's 1971 Billboard hit "Anticipation," which remains much beloved today and widely known thanks, in part, to a series of Heinz ketchup commercials. Simon's song resonates with me for its simplistic reminder to delight in the here and now.
So much of my life has been spent anticipating things.
In my 20s, aside from graduating from my studies and landing my longstanding administrative job, I wondered what would come next. When would I find love, get married, have a family, travel, and how would it all unravel?
Then I blinked once, and I did find love, and I blinked twice and got married, and blinked again, and found myself now in my early sixties and happily blinking away, still together with my soul mate.
Though my parents are no longer here, I recall sweetly one of my cherished mom's favorite melodies and choruses from Doris Day's "Que sera, sera," which she would often burst into whenever she saw me look worried, which was pretty much 24/7. No other song could better capture the message of having a laissez-faire attitude about future uncertainties.
When I decided to retire at the end of 2019, I had spent several months prior to that consumed with both anxiety and anticipation of my retirement life.
Then, as I acclimated to my new retired role and accepted this earned milestone transition, I finally understood that I'd spent much of my life fearing and anticipating events rather than simply enjoying the day-to-day and actual journey.
With the holidays arriving immanently on everyone's doorsteps, no matter what you celebrate, it's only natural that a communal sense of trepidation and anticipation exists for what the new year has in store for us.
Holly Burns, a frequent contributor to the New York Times, explored the many aspects of anticipation in her article, "To Enjoy Life More, Embrace Anticipation: Looking forward to something can be almost as good as experiencing it."
I'm always toasting and hoping for good health, a climate of peace and serenity within my frantic mind, and the ability to live on a harmonious, evolved planet.
However, according to the article and my slow-cooked realization, we must always keep our expectations and aspirations practical and anticipate only positive, realistic, and attainable things, so unfortunately, world peace will be out!
This line of thought about getting excited about the many little things in life that can make you happy is further detailed in the article in the following way:
"Anticipating a smattering of small, delightful experiences can be as enjoyable as looking forward to one big event, said Carrie L. Wyland, a social psychologist at Tulane University in New Orleans.
"At the end of every day, write down one thing you're excited for tomorrow," she said. "Maybe it's a new book, getting doughnuts, or a package you're expecting."
The accumulation of these mini-thrills means you'll still reap the benefits of looking forward to something, even if it's not a big-ticket reward, said Christian E. Waugh, a psychology professor at Wake Forest University who studies anticipation.
"Plus, with the nearer stuff, there's more of a sense it's going to happen for sure," he said. "You've got more control over a small gathering this evening than a vacation in six months."
With old man winter here, correction with winter's seasoned elder here, and the countdown to the jolly holidays, in addition to the start of a fresh year, I thought I could share my top approaches to conquering anticipation:
Reframe pessimistic thoughts by visualizing agreeable outcomes or viewing future events more enthusiastically as potential adventures or opportunities. (Easier said than done, I know!)
Preparing and planning in small increments can help keep things manageable and provide a sense of readiness and direction, giving you the upper hand in diminishing that bubbling-to-the-surface anxiety.
Remember to take intentional deep belly breaths that help bring you into the present moment.
Anxiety and anticipation are closely related, but as the New York article mentions, they can also coexist.
These are some complex, disheartening times we are living through.
To cultivate a more optimistic mindset, especially if you are struggling with negative anticipation, limit your exposure to stressors, implement a few self-care practices for your mental and physical well-being, and stay connected and engaged with activities that bring you joy and to people that bring you happiness.
Lastly, although we can best describe "anticipation" as a commanding force in manipulating our emotions, remember that you alone can be a beacon of light and wield the power to belt out a different metaphorical tune!
Happy Holidays!
About the Author:
Wendy Reichental, B.A.,Dip. in Human Relations and Family Life Education, McGill University. Certified in Foot Reflexology, RCRT® Registered Canadian Reflexology Therapist.
Wendy enjoys capturing life’s passages in short essays and opinion pieces. Her writings have appeared in The Montreal Gazette, Ottawa’s Globe and Mail, and various online magazines. Wendy's unique take on those first days of the Pandemic lockdown is now part of the just-out anthology Chronicling the Days by Marianne Ackerman (Editor) and Linda M. Morra (Editor). Guernica Editions, Spring 2021
