Fighting Back Against Cancer

During the 75+ interviews for my upcoming book, Ag’s story showed a remarkable combination of resilience and a sense of purpose. Here is an excerpt from that story.

“We desperately need a caring house, where people taking cancer treatments here can have a place to stay.”

Being diagnosed with prostate cancer was a springboard for Ag to take on the fight against cancer.  He found new meaning in his retirement life, by taking a leadership role in a project to support cancer care in his community. That fight led him to also help other cancer patients in his Colorado community through personal support and counseling. Here is the story in his own words.

If I was going to describe my retirement, it's portrayed by David Brooks in his book “The Second Mountain.” I'm doing all kinds of things since I retired 17 years ago, including just personal activity that my career took me away from.

The second mountain means reevaluation of your goals and what you want to do. I spent my career just driving myself to be successful and to earn a substantial living. I really didn't have a lot of time for personal interests or looking out for other people. It was all my work.

I think the book perfectly described the career focus in the first mountain. You dedicated all your time and energy to getting educated, having a lot of debt, getting that paid off, and building a career.

As you move on in life, you realize that the rewards come also in other ways. Your interpersonal relationships with folks mean a lot more, and you spend more time focused on them.  In these last 17 years, I thought more about doing things for other people.

A year before I retired, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer.  Right after I retired, I had surgery and then had to have radiation.  I did the radiation here in Colorado and got involved with the cancer center.

I was halfway through my radiation treatment, working with a brilliant radiation oncologist. I asked her how I could help, fully expecting that she would seek a donation.  She said, "We desperately need a house where people taking cancer treatments can have a place to stay. They can't afford to stay in the valley. We need to build a caring house." That took me on a journey that lasted six or seven years and was really important to me.

It turned out there were six ladies involved in trying to figure this out. There was a vice president of a local bank and all spectrums of society, but all had this goal. I got involved with them. One thing led to another and we finally said, "Well, we're going to have to raise about $5 million. We're going to have to get the land. We're going to have to get approvals. We're going to have to go to the board."

I said, "This is too much for a volunteer group. You need to hire an executive director." They said, "That's a great idea. I think we should." I went back to Austin for the fall, and realized on the way home maybe I should be that executive director. I applied for it, and said that they had to pay me. I wasn't going to volunteer for it, because people wouldn't respect the guidance and the outcome unless it's a paid position. I said, "I'll do it for half price." They hired me.

I can remember when we did the first presentation for this house. The county commissioners turned us down and kicked it down the road. We were just ticked. We went to a local bar and drank beer for about two hours.  We put the thing back together again, and went back. We're not going away.

The seven of us spent two years getting the approvals, going to local government, and we got the hospital to donate the land. I think they all thought we were a little crazy.

Then we spent another two years with our goal to raise four million dollars.

I think fund raising is about your attitude. I looked upon it as not arm twisting. I looked upon it as this great project that's going to help not only the cancer center become better known, but provide a wonderful service for people in our valley. All I'm doing is asking if you'd like to support it.

We had training sessions, and it was just a lot of laughs. Everybody loved it.  Training these people was fun. We had such a good rapport that people would say, “Well, I can't go up and ask somebody for $50,000.” I said, “You’re not going to ask them for $50,000, Ask them for $100,000 and then maybe we'll get $50,000.” That's what happened. People just couldn't believe it.

Before we made our first ask, we had one very generous gift of $1 million in the bank. This was set up in a trust to help pay the operating costs and the maintenance of this facility.

We had a lot of fun doing it and the project had great success. We raised almost five million dollars in about six months. The whole thing was oversubscribed. These people have never done that before.

I fired myself once we raised all the funds, and then became the project manager for the building of the house. I did that on a volunteer basis.

The caring house has been very successful. It's going strong. We just had our 10th anniversary. This was a great project. It’s probably running at 80% occupancy today.

As it turned out, the project was a great springboard from saying, "Hey, I don't want to work in corporate America anymore. " This wasn't stress. This was so enjoyable. We had a goal. It was wonderful. We were doing something and it was successful. It would emotionally pay off a thousand times over. On this kind of activity, you get rewarded as much or more as the person you're trying to help.

I think my diagnosis of cancer had a lot to do with it as I reflect on it. At the time, when you're told that you have cancer, you know what the risks are. You analyze it and you can make decisions on your treatment plan. I think my decisions were correct because I've been cancer-free for 17 years. That's very emotional.

My cancer recovery and getting involved in the clinic was unbelievably gratifying. It's certainly a story that I'm just deeply proud of. I feel great and very positive. I feel like I really had a more complete life because of it. I think so many people get to the end of the road of a business career and they walk out the door and it's like falling off a cliff.

During this time, I also became a resource for the docs at the clinic. Some guys were having trouble dealing with their prostate cancer. I never had any training in it. I was able to talk to people about these sensitive issues.

Men with prostate cancer can really face up to a 40% chance of being impotent for the rest of their life. That's a really hard one. You have people that first decide they’re not doing that. That's a very common response.

Then you say, “Well, do a timeout. How long do you want to live? Two or three years or 20? There is a lot of fun in life after this stuff. If you don't have a plan, you're not going to be successful at it. It's that simple.” I was able to do that probably a half a dozen times. It helps some people walk the bridge.

My wife and I both work at achieving a balance of our activities. The body ultimately declines. If you've got a great mind going for you, it really helps the physical as well. We're all going to get hit with something. I'm very thankful to be where I am. I think that balance is really important.

About the author

Richard Haiduck has conducted 75+ interviews to discover stories about retirees who are reinventing themselves in this stage of their life. These stories are documented in his book Shifting Gears; 50 Baby Boomers Share Their Meaningful Journeys in Retirement. You can get more information about both Richard and his book on his website.