Finding the Antidote for Loneliness

That is the remedy that Dr. Paul Tang prescribes to his lonely patients. Dr. Tang, a national expert on health care quality is among a growing number of professionals touting the benefits of social bonds.  

For years, psychologists, scholars and medical doctors have sounded the alarm bells around loneliness, arguing that it should be recognized as an epidemic and a national health crisis.  

And it is indeed a crisis.  

Loneliness ravages the brain and body and causes some major harm. Did you know;

• Obesity increases your odds of an early death by 20 per cent but loneliness increases your odds by 45 per cent

• Social isolation is as bad for your health as is smoking 15 cigarettes a day or being an alcoholic.  

And if you think you’re covered because loneliness only happens to isolated seniors, think again.  

Loneliness effects everyone. It does not discriminate. It takes both the young and old hostage. And it doesn’t care much about gender, sex, race or ethnicity.  

Interestingly, you are not inoculated from loneliness because you are surrounded by people.  

In fact, it’s possible to feel lonely even when you're around people. If you don't feel those around you understand you, or if you fear that they wouldn't like or accept you if they knew the 'real' you, then being in a room full of people, or having 500 Facebook friends won’t make your lonely feelings go away.  

And it’s that prolonged feeling that places the brain and body at risk. 

The late John Cacioppo, the world’s foremost authority on loneliness, equated feeling lonely with feeling hungry. We compromise our survival and well-being when either is ignored. We are biologically hardwired to respond to our environment. When we experience low blood-sugar levels, we crave food. When we feel lonely, we desire connection. 

So, what is the antidote to loneliness? 

Seek out connection: We all need a tribe! 

Loneliness is an evolutionary signal that something is going wrong, and it presents as a painful pang to get our attention. Just as hunger is a sign to seek out food, loneliness is a sign to seek out connection.  

Because the desire for contact can be so overwhelming, lonely people tend to dominate conversations, speak more than they listen and neglect to show interest, concern or empathy for others.  The lonely brain has difficulty engaging in mutual exchange because it’s terribly occupied with its own needs. 

The key here is to appreciate that loneliness is best solved by engaging in interactions that benefit both parties. And to ensure that we don’t make these interactions one sided, start by seeking out experiences in which you serve others.

For example, think about volunteering at a soup kitchen. The experience of helping others and the gratitude expressed by the recipients of your assistance will in turn result in what researchers refer to as the helper’s high. That is helping another person has the added benefit of making us feel that our lives matter and have purpose! 

To your health and longevity. 

Dr. Gill