Confessions from a Retired Introvert

Full confession: My name is Wendy, and I'm a self-proclaimed retired introvert who misses a few specific unexpected perks that emerged in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Now before you throw shade my way, hear me out.

The pandemic indelibly reshaped the way we live, work, and connect. One of the most notable transformations spurred by the pandemic was the rapid shift towards online activities.

Amidst the chaos and uncertainty, and with physical distancing in place, digital platforms became the lifeline for communication, education, commerce, and entertainment. The pivot towards online engagement for socialization and connection opened access and facilitated worldwide participation as we had never seen before.

A Washington Post article about introverts dreading a return to normal explained it this way:

"During a sad, tragic year, it was introverts who found a silver lining. There was more time alone, more peace, and less of the personal and professional pressures they find so draining. The calendar was suddenly, blissfully empty. Life slowed down. Social scientists correctly predicted that introverts were best suited to weather the stress of the past year."

The pandemic created a spirit of "we were all somehow in it together." Remember those rainbow drawings of hope and encouragement that kids posted in windows? Faced with this horrible adversary (the virus), this collective sense of support, kindness, and empathy prevailed.

In a 2023 article for the Montreal Gazette, Susan Schwartz wrote about the impact of loneliness, and one expert cited something that struck a chord with me. 

Rob Whitley, an associate professor in McGill's Department of Psychiatry and an investigator at the Douglas Research Centre of the Douglas Mental Health University Institute, said the pandemic was an opportunity for many to reflect on their priorities and to re-evaluate their lives.

"People who were very much wrapped up in the rat race learned new ways of being, and I think that has had a positive impact on mental health," he said. "I think the pandemic was a big learning experience." 

I was one of those people definitely deep in introspection.

The onset of the pandemic aligned with my transition into retirement and marked the early stages of adjusting to this new phase of life and a non-structured routine.

As the challenges of the pandemic intensified, I welcomed the overabundance of online activities and the excessive use of Zoom. As a homebody, I found Zoom convenient. I became quite the virtual social butterfly and party planner, leveraging this technology to organize (probably to the chagrin of many) virtual meetups with family, friends and even my former colleagues.

As organizations increasingly pivoted to online platforms to disseminate information and provide educational offerings and classes. I eagerly embraced this move, signing up for every opportunity to enrich my days with purposeful engagements.

One such organization was The Cummings 50+ Community Centre in Montreal, renowned for its diverse array of stimulating fitness classes, educational courses, lectures, and social activities. It is where I first crossed virtual paths with Booming Encore's very own Mike Drak and Susan Williams.  

I signed up to hear Mike candidly share his insights from his popular book "Retirement Heaven or Hell–Which Will You Choose?" which he co-authored with Susan Willams to inform and guide retirees about the many risks, pitfalls, and challenges that exist and how to avoid a potentially long, hellish road ahead. A fate I, too, was hoping very much to sidestep.

While Mike spoke, I took notes, underlining keywords like aspirations, goals, and connectivity. I related deeply to Mike's candid account of his rocky retirement transition.

Following Mike and Susan's presentation, I contacted Susan to see if I could share my perspective with Booming Encore about my out-of-sync marriage when one partner is retired and the other is not.

I found the experience of writing and unloading my truths - the highs and lows- very satisfying. Equally gratifying, a budding bond formed with Susan as we shared our mutual commitment to prioritizing our health and improving our fitness habits.

I experienced a similar sense of camaraderie and community when a simple Google search for gentle exercises tailored to seniors led me to a treasure trove: the "yes2next" YouTube channel. I got introduced to a dynamic duo: an age-defying mother named “Aiko” and her fitness instructor daughter “April Hattori.”

With each video, Aiko mirrored her daughter's movements, sometimes sitting on a chair, but compared to me, Aiko exhibited greater flexibility and agility than I did.

I returned every week because of the personal touch April infused after each routine, inviting comments or questions from viewers and taking the time to respond to all of them. Her dedication went beyond fitness; it encompassed a genuine desire to uplift and cheer us on with a resounding "yes you can" attitude that truly felt contagious.

To this day, I remain a devoted follower and active participant. I have benefited from the boost in my physical health and the cordial virtual friendship that April and I still maintain.

"Research shows that connecting, especially through collective action, can mitigate the impact of disasters on our mental health and sense of agency."

During the pandemic, I was so fortunate that my family and I could weather that storm relatively well and intact. I was grateful that this unprecedented time allowed me to learn, meet new people despite my less-than-gregarious personality, and engage in new online activities that I otherwise would never have been inclined to pursue, especially if it meant attending large gatherings or driving to various locations.

Admittedly, I found solace in the pandemic pause, embracing the chance to live in the present moment without the weight of worrying about my looming retirement days.

I also felt liberated from the familiar pangs of guilt that frequently infiltrated my psyche, urging me to do more or undertake projects and accept social invitations.

In a February 2024 an article titled "Is Fun Dead," was written by Karen Heller, a writer for The Washington Post, reflects on the challenges of finding joy in modern life and our tendency to overthink and complicate almost everything!

She cites examples of how "weddings have morphed into multistage stress extravaganzas" and how things so simple back in the day have become over-the-top productions. "Instead, fun evolved into work, sometimes more than true work, which is where we find ourselves now."

She references that even people approaching retirement succumb to societal pressure to have a meticulously planned retirement and defined purpose, emphasizing the identity crisis that often accompanies this transition.

Karen Heller writes, "There's this seeming need to have a plan, a mission, a coach, a packed colour-coded grid of daily activities in a culture where our jobs are our identities, our worth tied to employment."

To thrive in retirement, you must explore all your options and find that delicate equilibrium. Whether you actively engage with people online or in person, what matters most is that you design a retirement lifestyle that reflects your interests and passions and that those activities bring you physical, mental, and emotional health.

Though the pandemic has receded sufficiently to where introverts and extroverts can resume and delight in their regular activities, social isolation and loneliness persist in our communities, underscoring the pressing need for increased strategies to strengthen social connections with others.

All we can wish for in our golden retirement years is a healthy future where we cultivate measures to ensure that our well-being is cared for and nurtured, valued, supported, and interconnected, regardless of the presence or absence of a global upheaval event.

About the Author;

Wendy Reichental enjoys writing about life's quirks and foibles in short essays and opinion pieces. Her work has appeared in publications like The Montreal Gazette and Ottawa's Globe and Mail, as well as digital platforms such as Booming Encore, Refresh Reflexology Magazine and numerous online forums. Wendy's unique observation on the initial days of the pandemic lockdown is captured in the anthology Chronicling the Days: Dispatches from the Pandemic, published by Guernica Editions in the spring of 2021. Wendy holds a B.A. and a Diploma in Human Relations and Family Life Education from McGill University.