Analyzing the Famous Last Words: Let's Be Sure To Stay In Touch

I was in a reflective mood and felt compelled to look at my 1979 high school yearbook. There was no need for weed; this was such a blast to my past and a groovy trip all on it's own.

I opened the book to the back page, where I saw a group photo of my graduating class and all the autographs and signatures I collected from friends and teachers—such kind words from most of them.

For a moment, I remember the thrill of asking that cute guy I had a crush on to sign my book, and he did. He wrote, "It's too bad that high school is already over, but most of all, I'll miss saying hello to you every morning to start a cheery day. P.S. Don't forget me!" 

As I perused the pages of my yearbook and genuinely wished I could remember half of the people who signed it, I experienced something similar when I looked at all the congratulatory retirement cards I received on my last day of work at the end of 2019. 

Sufficient time has passed that I can now re-read those cards without the intensely charged emotions I felt on that last day. Most cards expressed the same upbeat sentiment of enjoying much-earned freedom and wishing me great adventures as I begin my new journey. I especially loved one reference to "relishing a peaceful and delicious breakfast or staying up late to watch movies like a teenage rebel."

Better than any gift were these sincere words of encouragement from many colleagues.

And what both my high school yearbook messages and these retirement cards all had in common, aside from the sweet accolades, were the hopes that we would keep in touch and savour the thrill of this significant life transition.

After I retired, it was most challenging to get used to not having my closest coworker greet me in the morning with her reassuring smile and sturdy shoulders, which I leaned on for over 25 years. The trust, friendship, and camaraderie we shared in the workplace are rare today.

One of the longest-running studies of adult development and human happiness by Harvard researchers discovered that the number one thing that keeps us happy, healthier, and living longer is having positive relationships.

As part of a broader study, researchers looked at retirees and concluded that retirees don't miss working but miss the connections and friendships with coworkers. Others found it hard to stay in touch after retirement. 

I am four years into my early retirement, and not having these supportive relationships has been a difficult change for me. My workplace and those water cooler chats were a great source of my social interaction, and now getting used to the isolation and quiet has been excruciating and soul-crushing for me.

Oh, sure, those first few weeks of not having to get up at the crack of dawn and having that leisurely breakfast reading a newspaper felt decadent and liberating for a while. But then this emptiness set in, and things felt enormously heavy instead of heavenly pretty darn fast.

During the pandemic, I contacted a few of my dear colleagues and scheduled Zoom catch-up meetings. A few of those colleagues during the pandemic were already retired, but some were still working at the same office. It was good to see everyone in our tiny squares shouting "unmute" or all of us speaking simultaneously; it was a lovely cacophony symphony.

Lately, these meetings have petered out, and our initial Zoom fever during those awful pandemic years has since cooled off. But the good news is that others in the group have taken the initiative, and they have organized lunch gatherings from time to time.

This past summer, I felt inspired again and invited a few old coworkers for a potluck reunion at my house.

To circle back to my yearbook autographs and all those retirement cards with their pleas of "staying in touch," I now understand and better appreciate the importance of putting those words to the test. 

Maintaining and cultivating connections with former classmates and coworkers, or even reacquainting with old friends, requires ongoing effort, communication, and commitment. A plethora of evidence shows that staying socially connected can positively impact your mental health and overall well-being.

In a 2022 article in the Globe and Mail, "Why friendships are even more important in retirement," leading psychologist and friendship expert Dr. Marisa Franco commented,

"Seniors are more selective about what friendships they invest in, not wanting to waste time on less meaningful connections. However, that doesn't mean making new friends or keeping up with existing ones gets easier as you age. It may even be more difficult, especially for those who may have relied on the workplace to sustain their relationships." 

I am slowly acclimating to this new retirement routine and incredibly grateful for the lifelong connections I have made through my work that continue to flourish, albeit with grit and some bony elbow grease. I am also so thankful for new friendships that are slowly taking flight and old friendships that remain grounded in maturity, compassion and wisdom.  

We can't ask for more than what someone put in my yearbook, and it applies so well in retirement—she simply wrote, "Good luck in your future, and just be happy. Let's be sure to stay in touch!".

About the Author:

Wendy Reichental, B.A.,Dip. in Human Relations and Family Life Education, McGill University. Certified in Foot Reflexology, RCRT® Registered Canadian Reflexology Therapist.

Wendy enjoys capturing life’s passages in short essays and opinion pieces. Her writings have appeared in The Montreal Gazette, Ottawa’s Globe and Mail, and various online magazines. Wendy's unique take on those first days of the Pandemic lockdown is now part of the just-out anthology Chronicling the Days by Marianne Ackerman (Editor) and Linda M. Morra (Editor). Guernica Editions, Spring 2021