A Few Well Tailored Thoughts

Ah, summer! Time to shed those heavy layers of woollies in favour of linen or breathable cool fabrics.

These days, fashion is as free and liberating as your imagination will allow. Lately, I've been thinking about the clothing choices we make, especially as someone who is, ahem, entering her early 60s.

I've always made an effort to stay current with the latest trends. While I may not be confident enough or comfortable sporting a cropped halter that bares my midriff along with some low-rise jeans, I still gravitate toward clothes that make me feel en vogue and, yes, youthful.

This reflection reminded me of the fascinating Counterclockwise experiment conducted by Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer. In the study, a group of men in their 70s and 80s were placed in a location designed to recreate the year 1959. They brought photos of their younger selves, immersed themselves in music, magazines, books, and décor from that era, and were encouraged to talk about their lives as if it were actually 1959.

Amazingly, after just a few days, many of these men showed measurable improvements in both physical and mental health.

The study suggested something incredible: our mindset can profoundly influence how we age. By mentally placing themselves in a younger time, these men appeared to "revert" to a more spritely version of themselves.

Does what we wear affect how we feel? Without a doubt. There’s truth to the saying: "When you look good, you feel good".

Take, for example, Nancy Sinatra's iconic song These Boots Are Made for Walkin'. I recently rewatched the original video, the one where Nancy struts around in a sequined mini-dress, black nylons, and popular at the time, mid-length go-go boots. Watching it instantly transported me to a younger, happier and groovier version of myself. (Except for saying "groovier," that alone just aged me by ten years!)

I still remember how, in my twenties, I felt self-assured and a little cheeky in my mini-skirts, plunging V-neck blouses, and cute espadrille wedges. Maybe it was the extra height from the sandals or the blissful confidence (and ignorance) of youth, but those outfits made me feel like I could take on the world.

So why is it that now, when I see a woman of a certain age in neon leggings and a tube top, my first reaction is: Really? Maybe she’s channelling her Jane Fonda workout days from the 80s. Maybe that outfit makes her feel strong, vibrant and very much alive. And honestly, what business is it of mine?

In a New York Times article titled "What Does It Mean to 'Dress Your Age'?", fashion critic Vanessa Friedman writes:

"That's the thing about that issue of 'dressing your age.' It isn't about a list of garments you can or can't wear. It's about all the associations and assumptions embedded in those garments.

Strict social or cultural rules about what to wear as you age don't really exist anymore. The few that do tend to be contextual and institutional, and have to do with workplace dress codes. And you don't have to check a desire to be chic at the door of, say, at 50. Just because fashion still insists on showing clothes on bodies under the age of 25 doesn't mean those clothes aren't actually meant for women twice that age. 

But how you dress is a statement about who you are and how you want to be perceived. And that changes as we grow up — even more, sometimes, than our bodies or dress sizes (though those, of course, change, too)."

I’ll never forget a shopping trip with my beloved mom to one of our favourite haunts—Winners, where, it's true, you will always ‘find what you’re not looking for.’ While she browsed on her own, I wandered off toward the home section. When I returned, there she was, gleefully trying on a pair of denim high-top sneakers with Velcro straps, splashed with bright Mexican florals: hot pinks, sunny yellows, electric blues, and vivid green cacti.

She looked up at me, beaming. She said they were so comfortable, and as an artist, she adored and appreciated the extremely bold designs.

And what did I say? Not "They're perfect for you!" or "You have to get those!" Instead, I hesitated and said something like, "Are you sure those are right for you? Shouldn't you get something with an orthopedic sole?"

In an instant, her excitement fizzled, and any joy drained from her face. She gave herself one last glance in the mirror, then quietly took them off and placed them back on the shelf.

I’ll never forgive myself. My cherished mom radiated light and the mischievous, playful spirit of someone half her age. I had no right to dampen that. I thought I was being practical, but really, I was the one in need of spunk and soul.

Just the other day, frustrated with my dull hairstyle and craving a touch of nostalgia, I tied my hair into pigtails. But then came the doubt: Am I too old for this? For space buns, scrunchie-wrapped ponytails, carefree braids, or even embracing my grey hair completely?

Remember what happened to veteran anchor Lisa LaFlamme, who was allegedly dismissed for letting her hair go grey? Even Wendy’s Canada gave their iconic red-headed mascot grey pigtails a quiet but powerful gesture of solidarity.

Why does any of this matter?

Well, it simply does! As one article in the Calgary Herald put it:  

 "Our culture looks at aging through the lens of outward appearance. Younger women are seen and valued for their beauty and energy, while older women struggle with invisibility. They feel unnoticed in a society that demonstrates a lack of love for women over 50."

As we roll through yet another summer amid the tangled, ugly messiness of the world, maybe the best thing we can try and do is to keep our opinions but soften and rein in our judgments.

You're never too old to rock any outfit or a hairstyle, as long as you accessorize it with grace, flair and kindness - timeless qualities that never go out of style.