60 Before 60 Project: #6 - Go to Church
Growing up, our family used to go to church every Sunday. But once I left home, I never continued that activity. Sure, I got married in a church, my children were baptized and confirmed in my husband’s faith but I never really thought much about the idea of returning to my own denomination.
A few years back, I heard a local minister speak at a funeral of a friend’s father and was very impressed by what he had to say. I found the words he shared were both supportive and inspiring and it left me wondering whether it was maybe time for me to possibly give church another shot.
Given my 60 before 60 project, I decided that rather than keep wondering now was a perfect time to give it a try.
So, after over 30 years of not going to church, I located which church this minister was associated with and off to church I went.
First a few motivating factors about this experience.
I went by myself which is an accomplishment in itself. Normally, I would never have done this on my own. But what motivated me to do this was an article I wrote on the retirement realities for women. As women, we tend to live longer than men which means that we may outlive our partners.
This also means that we need to be strong enough to do things independently.
I was personally tested on this front about a year ago when my husband experienced a life threatening illness. Totally out of the blue, I faced the potential reality of possibly having to carry on my life by myself. Fortunately, this didn’t happen but the impact of this experience is forever engrained in me.
As well, we have also published quite a few articles on the issue of loneliness for older people and the health impacts social isolation can have. Some research has discovered that risks of prolonged loneliness can be as damaging to our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
To add even more to this, there is also research that religion may actually help you age well. It can possibly provide the following physiological benefits;
“A positive and hopeful attitude about life and illness…. A sense of meaning and purpose in life …A greater ability to cope with illness and disability”.
Now back to my church visit.
The week I went to church was the 2nd week of Advent. As I looked around the church, I noticed that much of the congregation were older but there were still a few families, couples and singles there as well.
A key difference from my past experience is that technology has now joined in the service. The service was now also being live broadcasted on Facebook. I’m sure this is probably courtesy of the needed changes during the pandemic.
The key message of this church service was about peace. Peace with nature, peace with the first nation people, peace with each other and peace with ourselves.
There were also two beautiful parts of the service that I really appreciated.
They had an 11 foot Christmas tree and a multitude of angel decorations. Each member of the congregation was welcomed to take an angel, think of someone they cared for – present or past – and place it on the tree. The idea was that this angel would then watch over them / be with them throughout the Christmas season.
As well, they also had a giving tree.
The concept behind this was to bring an ornament you no longer used and place it on the tree. Should someone like it, they could then take your ornament home to place on their tree.
At the end of the service, I had the chance to speak with the minister, Reverend Darryl Macdonald. I told him briefly about my 60 before 60 project and how this was really my first time back into the church after 30 plus years and I was interested in seeing what the church could possibly offer to people.
He shared with me that at their church they are really focused on creating community. A place for people to gather and support the community and each other.
As well, he is trying to make the service more interactive (for example the angel tree) so that people can feel more connected.
As I left the service, I couldn’t help but feel a little lighter.
Talking and hearing about peace, love and community is a heck of a lot better than some of the nastiness I typically see in the media around me on a daily basis.
Churches used to be a central hub for community connection but over time, participation has declined. In the US, less that 50% of people now say they are associated with a church, synagogue or mosque. This is down 20 points from the turn of the century.
Now I’m not suggesting that everyone needs to head out to a place of worship, but what I would suggest is to find places where you feel comfortable with people who provide you positive energy and support.
Afterall, I think we all could use a little more of that these days.
My 60 Before 60 Lesson: Spend time with people that lift you up not bring you down
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